The Birth of Anna Katherine

Even though Anna was due on March 27, we sailed past that Saturday without even a Braxton Hicks to tease me. The Wednesday before I had been to the midwife for a check up where we discovered that my blood pressure had risen to an uncomfortable level. High blood pressure in pregnancy can be very serious, sometimes resulting in strokes and seizures for you or the baby. The cure is to give birth so we were getting anxious. I was put on “couch rest” and sent for testing which included having to collect my urine for 24 hours (super fun when you pee once an hour). All of the tests cleared me of anything serious so I just had to take it easy until my next appointment on Tuesday. At that appointment, my blood pressure was still not optimal, but hadn’t risen any higher. They tried to “stretch and sweep” (natural induction technique), but couldn’t because I was locked up tight. I was sent home with black and blue cohosh tinctures and was to hope for the best until my next appointment a week later.

On Thursday (April 1) I experienced some blurred vision which is one of the symptoms to look out for once you have high blood pressure. I paged the midwives and met Christie at the clinic 20 minutes later. She checked my BP which was still high, but not to the point of needing to be induced at the hospital. She also tried to stretch and sweep again, but I was not dilated AT ALL. So, I was sent home with a recipe for a castor oil cocktail that could help to induce and lots of plans for tests in the coming week if I didn’t have the baby that weekend. Christie offered a consult with an OB if we wanted to have a real induction that day, but as long as they weren’t advising it directly we wanted Anna to come on her own terms.

Friday at about noon I made up the concoction which contained castor oil, verbena, peanut butter and juice. It wasn’t that bad actually, especially with the Coke chaser that was recommended. Here’s the deal with castor oil inducing labour: what it actually does is irritate your bowels to give you diarrhea and sometimes vomiting. Because your bowels are right next to your uterus, sometimes it will help contractions start or you might just end up with raging diarrhea and still no baby. My first dose did not start anything in either area. We decided to venture out to the Eefting’s for Good Friday dinner where I would take my second dose at 6pm. I think the food and laughing were good distractions and were part of the catalyst because my contractions started around 7.

It had been drilled into my head that first time labourers took forever and to not get excited. Brett asked me at about 8:30 if I was feeling anything and so I confessed, but we just kept playing Quelf and hanging out because I thought I had a good 12 hours of early labour (where you are contracting very far apart and without much pain) ahead of me. We left the Eefting’s at around 10:30 to go home and try to sleep through the early part. Once home we spent a bit of time tidying up the house and readying supplies. My contractions started getting a little stronger and I wondered how I was going to sleep through them. At about 11:30 we phoned Kate to tell her that in 24 hours she would be an auntie, but not to get too excited because we still had a lot of hours to go.

After midnight I headed for the shower to get all cleaned up one last time and braid my hair before bed so that it might look half decent for the after labour pictures. Things really started to pick up once I had the hot water on me. Shawn patiently waited beside the tub with his fancy iPhone app as I would say “here we go” and “okay” to indicate the beginning and end of each contraction. The midwives instructions were to phone them once contractions were 4 minutes apart lasting for one minute for one hour or when my water broke. We were about 45 minutes into our count when my water broke on my hand during one contraction. We immediately drained the bath (there is a risk of infection at that point) and phoned Cassie. Even though my contractions were about 2 1/2 minutes apart lasting for a minute she thought I was managing the pain well and instructed us to phone back once we reached a new level of intensity or had “bloody show”. It really didn’t take long to get to that point and we phoned her again after 2am. We also phoned our friend Dana who had asked to photograph the birth to add to her photography portfolio. We were stoked to have her there (she is also a trained doula and mother of many) and the photos are AMAZING: .

Both Cassie and I figured that it would still take quite a bit of time because just the day before I wasn’t dilated even a smidge and it was my first labour. When Cassie got here after 3 I was definitely in active labour and was dilated between 5 and 6 centimeters. This is when I started to get involuntary pushing contractions at the end of my dilating contractions. Each time I added some blood, mucus and urine to the puddle on my bed, so in a way, this was the second time I had wet our bed (ask me for the first story another time). There wasn’t really any time to use the coping methods that we had intended (blessing beads from my centering group, massage, Shawn singing, labourade ice cubes and popsicles). Well there was time, but I didn’t know that I was running out of it so I thought I’d ask for those things eventually. Shortly before 5 Cassie assisted in getting the last little bit of cervix out of the way so that I was fully dilated. Now it was time to push.

I got into position, sort of side lying on the bed with Shawn holding my hand and Cassie coaching me from the foot of the bed. Apparently, I started pushing at 5:02 and little Anna entered the world at 5:17. Yep, 15 minutes. The last minute or so were definitely the hardest. I am now familiar with the “ring of fire” and I could feel the extra tearing that I received on my inner labia, but I feel really really blessed. First contractions to holding Anna in my arms was 10 hours. I was convinced I would have a 24 hour labour and would push for several hours. Thank you to everyone who prayed for this to go easy for me because I really couldn’t have hoped for more. It was still hard work (the video proves that for sure), but it was manageable. It had to be. Your body starts working toward the birth and you can’t stop it or hold back. You have to work with it and you have to get through; one way or another she was coming out. Both Shawn and I have said that if we didn’t have the video to show us otherwise, we could easily be convinced that she was delivered to our door. The pain and work disappeared from my memory within hours. Our bodies are truly incredible.



The last two weeks have been filled with healing, catheters (I even had to cath myself for about a day), breast feeding (which is going SO well, thank you midwives!), family visits and lots of people blessing us with wishes, thoughts, foods and gifts. We are so incredibly blessed. Our little Anna is the picture of health and completely perfect. She coos and smiles (don’t tell me it’s gas because I don’t care, her smile is beautiful) and brings us so much joy. She has the brightest eyes that are filled with life. We just love her and are so grateful to God for bringing her to us in the exact way that she was meant to arrive - completely herself.



And now the Barans are three.

Baby Baran Week 40

Here we are again. We made it to the last days without me or Shawn going crazy. It would be odd, but kind of fun if she actually did come tomorrow. Most babies do not arrive on their due date - it's super rare. It turns out we do need her to come sooner than later:

We had a bit of a blood pressure scare this week at the midwife's. It was running high, so they had me do a urine test on site which showed too high levels of protein. So they sent me to the lab to get blood tests and then home to lay around. They didn't put me on bed rest, but I pretty much was told not to do anything. Of course my sweet husband took this to it's fullest meaning and was not pleased to find that I had made myself a bagel mid-afternoon. Thankfully, Shawn just got AppleTV and I was able to purchase all the episodes of Glee. What a great show! I was a very good girl and didn't do anything for a day and half. The midwives phoned last night to say that the blood test results were clear of anything too worrisome. Basically this means I have to keep taking it easy, however, I can unload the dishwasher and a do a load of laundry without having to walk slower than a snail. This also means, that if the little one has not shown herself by my next appt (Tuesday) they will start using some of their midwifery magic to get her to come out just to be sure she gets out of there before my BP rises. Just in case you skimmed past that last sentence: there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is Tuesday!

Now that you know everything is okay I can tell you what having high blood pressure might have meant: in its extreme (which I was not close to, but at risk for) you and/or the baby can have a stroke or seizures. If the test results hadn't been good it would have meant induction in the hospital. Even with the good results, if my blood pressure doesn't stay where it is or get lower, they might still have to take me to the hospital. This will now be decided at the time of labour. They will still come to the house, take my BP here and if it is risky, then we'll transfer to the hospital. She said that they might also automatically give an epidural, I believe to decrease the pain so that feeling that much pain doesn't elevate the blood pressure. I don't even care anymore. We just want our little girl to be safe. It's funny because it's not like I've been doing anything stressful. I already take it pretty easy. But they said that high BP is really common in first pregnancies and there is nothing in particular that causes it or that can prevent it. They also said it's more common if you have a family history of high BP during pregnancy. I wasn't sure if we did.

This will probably be my last pre-baby update (of course I'll write up all the details of the birth) so here are a couple of thoughts on pregnancy:

I now lump it in with my thoughts on engagement - it is purely a time of transition. It is not a phase to settle into, it is a time of waiting and anticipation for what you have been promised. This means that it is something to just get through. It can also be a time of learning and exploration, sure, but there should always be a thought in the back of my mind telling me that this was not the point, this is not leading to an end, but a beginning. Therefore, I say: pregnancy is boring. It's cool to feel and see your baby move and to rack up the war stories for entertainment and guilt trips later, but all the excitement is really just about who she is going to be once she comes out.

Also, most of what is said about pregnancy is a load of crap. We constantly make generalizations about how it supposed to look and what is supposed to happen, but mostly I've learned (through my extensive reading - you should see my book shelf) that science barely has a clue as to what is going on in there. It's all guessing and we know this because almost everyone falls out of the norm that they write about. Especially all of the non-scientific stuff that we all succumb to: "you're carrying high and that means..." "you'll be having a ten pounder because..." "kicking after meals means..." Furthermore, we are constantly projecting on to the baby. What each movement means, what her thoughts might be. I don't blame us for this as we are desperate to connect with her during this tedious wait. Which brings me to my next point that when pregnant women try to tell you that they feel spiritually or psychologically connected to their babies, they are also full of crap. I will take the risk of being honest here and saying that other than projection I have never felt any sort of intuitive connection to her. I am emotional about her; that she lives, that she will be born and will be a person. I already love her so deeply that I know I would give my life for hers. However, this does not mean that I have a separate mental connection with her that her father doesn't have. Nothing that I have experienced with her (excepting the physical of course) is anything that Shawn has not experienced with her or toward her. Maybe that is my main point: to further my anti-feminist stance, it is another attempt by females to bring a false superiority to their sex and to bring a sense of control to something that you have no control over. Before I get a bunch of angry emails back, let me be clear in saying that these are my thoughts on pregnancy alone. I have yet to experience birth and breast feeding and how that affects the mother/child relationship. I anticipate that what women say about the connections made there are true, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was more projection and desire just like it is in pregnancy. And there you have it my not-yet-mother friends: the truth. Or if you like, my truth about pregnancy. (*and now I await the lectures from Mom and Kate about being a hard ass*)

Perhaps if I am having contractions at some point soon (fingers crossed) and need a distraction I will write up my intended coping methods for labour. They are more perspective than anything else, but I think they will help. Wish us luck!

Baby Baran Week 39

The weeks are really flying by now. I can't believe our due date is in one week! Although, we're really hoping for early next week for several selfish reasons:
#1 - I want my body back! I'm not just talking about it's shape. I mean all of it. Being able to respond normally to the sensation to pee, being able to sit with my feet on the floor for longer than ten minutes, not waking up to arthritis, being able to reach for things and not be stopped short by "something" getting in the way. I do have a bit of patience left (I'm not walking the floors or anything), but it is waning, and fast.
#2 - Shawn has two gigs this weekend that he would not be able to get subs for, but two gigs next week that he really doesn't want to do, so early next week would be perfect for that.
#3 - Shawn has an eye appt and hair cut in the next couple of days so those wouldn't have to be postponed (but a Sunday baby would throw them off for sure).
#4 - Shawn would get a reprieve from work for a couple of weeks. A much needed break.
#5 - She would officially be a spring baby Sunday or later.
#6 - She would officially be an Aries like her mom. Although, this may not be something to wish on her...
#7 - It would get me out of all the tedious conversations that I will have to endure if she is late. I'm already dreading all of the comments on Sunday, but I can get through one more service of "You're about to pop!" "Oh my goodness, you're huge!" and the looks that I get from people of part pity, part disbelief, and maybe even a little judgment like I brought this on myself.
#8 - Clothes! I want my clothes back. All my cute, pretty, girly clothes.
#9 - We get to start trying all of our ideas and methods and systems for how we are going to live with and take care of the little one.
#10 - We can finally name her!!! And henceforth we all will know who she is. As well as
#11 - We finally get to meet her!!! Enough of these shapes rolling across my tummy, get out her and say hello! We want to talk to you and take care of you and show you the whole world. It will be legend (wait for it) dary.

That turned into more of a list of why we want her to come out at all, not just why she should come out early next week. Well, we're excited about it. Shawn in particular these days. Not only because pregnancy has reached a new level of boredom, but because he wants to meet her and interact with her. He still does via the tum tum but he knows that he really won't be able to connect with her until she's out here. Ooh I thought of another one:
#12 - I want to tackle this challenge of labour. Let's do this already, the anticipation is psyching me out. The sooner it starts, the sooner it is over.
#13 - Her nursery is all done (except for a window covering because Ikea has discontinued the one that I wanted) and it's lonely sitting in there by myself.

Yep, there is nothing to report anymore. It's all more of the same. We're just waiting...and waiting...

I tried to get a video of her movements, because they are intense looking these days. It really looks like something is trying to burrow out of my tummy. Some of her internal kicks have been pretty wicked too. The other day, one of them actually moved me as if someone had lightly pushed me when I was off balance. I guess she's pretty strong. Or she's had enough of this hibernation as well. Now I'm just projecting as I will be on her until she can speak for herself. Sorry kiddo, you're going to have to use your real words if you want to prove that you have a mind of your own.